Boys always wonder what happens in the ladies room. They want to know why we go in groups of two or three, and why “we take so damn long and always seem to come back laughing.” I recently convinced my boyfriend, after this precise conversation, that in every ladies room there is a resting area. One with a couch, drinks, sometimes there is someone there to hand you a paper towel so you don’t have to do it yourself. “The counters are filled with lipsticks to use, brushes and pins to fix your hair, and oh the lighting is fabulous,” I explain as I imagine how great that would be. He looks disappointed, robbed, almost, of the bathroom experience and honestly, so do I. And though, this isn’t the case for most bathrooms, I will say that after a certain hour at any bar, or pub or club there is a shift in the ladies bathroom atmosphere. The atmosphere becomes almost as entertaining as, the former dreamed ladies room experience.
You’re out. You make your way to the ladies room and you are guaranteed to find a little bit of everything. In the corner, there is the girl whose mascara is smeared all over her face- I can hear her short breaths and cries now… One of her friends is telling her that “he’s an asshole, anyway!” while she blows into the cheap toilet paper. While you’re in line to pee (you know there is always a line), there is always a girl who is behind you and she is the nicest drunk ever. She catches a glance at your outfit, or your eyes, or hey even your boobs and lets the compliments run wild. “Your eyes are beautiful oh my God, and look at your blouse. Girl, you are *rocking* it. You look great.” It’s a confidence booster for sure. There is always one girl who could care less about the etiquette of waiting in line, and skips in front of everyone looks back and says “sorry, I really have to pee!”… No shit sherlock? At the very back of the line, one girl is always irrationally angry at the line, yelling “are you serious?!” The line gets shorter, and finally, you’re about to get your turn to discover that only two out of the eight bathrooms can be used. But hey, at least you got a show.